Friday, December 28, 2007

Mean People DO Suck

Three days ago, I was assigned airport alert at 5:30 am in what I like to call terminal delay. I got the chance to preboard a flight straight away, and then just as I was beginning to fall asleep nice and cozy in the crew room, the phone rang and I got a three day trip. The nice part of the trip was that I kept running into boyfriend, and its cute in a quarterback/cheerleader kind of way. The horrible part of the trip was the nasty, nasty, mean people on all the flights. Not one please, barely any thank yous, and a lot of outrageously demanding passengers. As a polite person, who uses her words, I have a difficult time dealing with those in the human race who think that the word "please" is just a severe mispronunciation of the word peas. I have developed a list of things the modern traveler should keep in mind:

1) The flight attendant call button is for emergency use only. The fact that you need a coke, or a water, blanket, pillow, your back scratched, etc, is not an emergency. Profusely bleeding from one of your appendages? Now that's an emergency.

2) Five year olds should not travel alone. At five, small children have only been potty trained for two to three years; how do you expect them to keep themselves amused for more than 10 minutes?

3) If you have dietary needs, you need to provide for yourself. For example, if you suffer from chronic dehydration, you should probably bring your own water as opposed to randomly screaming out to the flight attendant the word "WATER!!".

4) If you wouldn't change your child's diaper on your living room couch and then throw it away in the kitchen, then I suggest you use the lavatory instead of your seat and trying to hand me some crappy diaper. No dice.

5) Being nice to the flight attendants will get you places nicely and comfortably. If you're rude, mean and condescending, stop being so surprised when others are rude, mean, and condescending back.

I'm sure that there are a lot of other things to include on this list, but that's all I got thus far.

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