Monday, April 20, 2009

I Guess There Really Is a Crew Line EVERYWHERE!

Thanks to the economy, airfares around the country and world have dramatically reduced themselves. For the first week in June: NYC to Dublin? Less than $500. Dubai instead? $900. Same for Sydney, both of which are on the other side of the planet! With this rise in discount fares comes the rise in discount passengers... I may not be able to afford teeth and consistently prove every single stereo type but by golly we're going to the other side of the world to a land that hates Americans, only to wonder why the flight attendants roll their eyes at us, the locals were mean, and got pick pocketed daily. Oh the horrors! Suddenly there are choruses of "Well, on Southwest..." in the cabin all summer long, the whole way to Europe. I'm excited for these people that they get to experience these things; please bring your common sense along. I will do my best to be patient but there's no cure for stupid. A lovely flight attendant friend sent me this, and as the summer travel season is upon us, I found it rather fitting:

Last night as I lay sleeping
I died .. or so it seemed,
Then I went to heaven
But only in my dream

Up there St Peter met me
Standing at the pearly gates,
He said, 'I must check your record...
Please stand here and wait.'

He turned and said 'Your record
Is covered with terrible flaws,
On earth I see you rallied
For every losing cause.'

I see that you drank alcohol
And smoked and partied too,
Fact is, you've done everything
A good person should never do.

We can't have people like you up here...
Your life was full of sin,
Then he read the last of my record,
Took my hand and said, 'Come in.'

He led me up to the Chief of Heaven ...
'Take her in and treat her well',
She used to work in the Airline Industry ...
She's done her time in hell.'

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