My Most Embarassing Moment... To Date

I haven't been to work since that alert last Sunday. That's what I get for throwing caution to the wind and leaving the heavy decision making to the scheduling gods. A lot happened that night, I'm still digesting it and here's how it went down. I got to the terminal, went to the loo, and proceeded to security check point C-3; C-2 that's closest to the loo was closed. I was ushered to the front of the line, as it was time for me to make the donuts, placed my belongings on the conveyor belt, had them blasted with an x-ray machine, walked threw the metal detector and proceeded to reclaim my things. As I was putting myself back together again, when one of the TSA agents came over to me, very hush hush and began with "Ma'am, I have to tell you this. Your skirt is unzipped in the back." Lo and behold, my bright ass green tank, black hose with matching green underwear was on display for all to see. But for how long??? And why hadn't anyone told me??? Is that why the black girls going through the other side were laughing? At me and my unfortunate wardrobe malfunction? And what was my skirt doing undone? How could my mother let me leave the house like this??? So many questions, so embarrassing and if this is the most horrifying thing to happen to me to date, I'll take it!