Who You Gonna Call?

As if I haven't said it enough, I love my job.

I got to do three new things this past trip:
1) deal with vomit - its awesome when its a little kid and mom takes care of everything; she only needed a plastic bag. I was fearful that the smell would make me sick, but I held it together.
2) the long Providence layover - 30 hours in the capital city of RI, where everyone is a fan of Family Guy and the bartender at the Irish pub is Italian and quite the McSteamy...
3) my first TWO security breaches!!! - Next time you fly in and out of our nation's capital, please remember that you are NOT permitted to move about the cabin an hour before landing or after take-off. Yes, that means you. There are also air marshalls on flights with higher security risks, like DC or NY airports. You mess with me, you mess with the feds.

We also had a situation with a drunk guy who was sitting in coach and wet himself, which according to him, meant he could use the first class lav. Boy was he wrong! Right before he closed the door, the captain called to say he needed to be let out of his cage to use the litter box. I told him someone was in there, and I'd call him back. 10 minutes later Drunky McDrunk is still in there, captain's dinging me "gotta go gotta go gotta go right now." The other flight attendant, who doesn't take crap from no one, knocked on the door to see if he was okay, and as soon as she knocked, he opened the door with a "Hello?" kind of attitude and proceeded to explain how he should be allowed to use the facilities otherwise he'd wet himself (again) and how dare she interrupt him. In the meanwhile, the captain thought the knocking was on his door so he came out, forcing her to make McDrunky move back into first class where she literally held him til the captain went in and out of the lav. That was the fastest I've ever seen a captain go. Usually once we let him out, he's gone for like 20 minutes; however, we were also on initial descent. The captain went back in the flight deck, and the Drunk is still causing a ruckus all the way back to his seat. So we pulled out the paper work to file a report, found three witnesses, one of which was a cop, and had a complaint officer meet the plane. He got a stern talking to by the complaint officer, and my airline has the option of banning him from future flights. I was slightly disappointed that we didn't need the Port Authority Police.

I normally would end that with a "maybe next time" but in all honesty, I don't enjoy dealing with adults who don't know how to behave at 35,000 ft. I've had better behaved unaccompanied minors than grown ups, which is rather disturbing. Please, remember this when you fly:
1) You are not driving the plane, the captain is. He's in charge and you are not.
2) Order one drink. Either diet coke OR water; not diet coke, water, and tomato juice.
2) The call button is for emergencies only. Ring it if you have lost a limb, not if you are thirsty or in need of a blanket.
3) Those blankets are DISGUSTING. Do not touch it. BYOB - blanket, that is ;)